You look fat when you cry

~There is a sacredness in tears. They are not a mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief and of unspeakable love...

~Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive...


So today was sad and painful for me. My family has been here in Arizona for thanksgiving and this morning they left. I don't think I realized just how much I missed them until I saw them and then had to say goodbye again. So I spent a better part of yesterday bawling my eyes out. And for the most part I didn't want to say goodbye, especially to my mom. But then I guess I just needed to cry.

I think we all have those times where you keep it in and keep it in and then the smallest piece of straw breaks the camels back, so to speak. I started the cry-a-thon off with just not wanting to them to leave and then I realized how lonely I am and then that I basically have no idea what I'm going to do about my broken car and then the pain behind my right eye that refuses to go away and I haven't slept and my feet hurt from work and basically everything I would never cry about came flooding to the surface.

I'm not sure where or when or why it happened but lately my emotions are so raw and close to the surface that little things make me tear up and it sucks!!! I feel like a baby!

The two quotes from above bring me a strange sense of comfort. I guess I just have this thing I'm not sure how to explain it I just am moved by phrases and sentences that have a resounding truth.

I don't know when or why showing your feelings or crying or anything became a sign of weakness, but like the quotes say they speak of many things. I can remember many times I laughed so hard I started crying. Or the insane joy I felt the first time I held my nephew after he was born; this little boy that after one second in my arms an incredible love that could only be expressed in tears of joy.

And then there are the not-so-happy tears. The ones where you feel a grief and a sadness so profound and staggering that words or silence are not enough.

Tears are not weak. It is ok to feel. Happiness is a mood not a destination. It's like being hungry or tired. It comes and goes. I always thought a robot would be boring anyway