I Can Not See You But I Know You Are There

~ Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? If you were suddenly gone, how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There is nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean; it's deep and dark and bigger than all if us. And pain is like a thief in the night; Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love.


Remember how in my last post I said that sometimes words just aren't enough? This is one of those times. Someone near and dear to my heart passed away this week, Jared Johansen.

I can't even begin to describe how heart breaking and sad this loss is. He is leaving behind a beautiful wife who happens to be one of the best friends I have ever had, their daughter, a daughter who is due here in January, and a whole host of other people who will never be the same...

I can't help but feel angry with God at this moment, until now believing that everything happens for a reason, I can't see what possible purpose it serves taking this man away from his family at such a young age. All I can keep thinking is ," Why?".

My heart is aching, I can't catch my breath and as hurt and angry as I am with the Lord I am grateful of the knowledge and faith enough to know that I will see Jared again. That he is there watching us. I know that he is with Michael and that thought quiets my sorrows even if just a little. I keep a prayer in my heart for my friend that her suffering will be eased and that soon she will feel peace. That she will know that Jared is always with her.

If you're reading this and wondering who Michael is, he is the brother of the friend mentioned in this post. He left us to go Home in 2009. I still miss him even though I knew him a short while.

But they are both in a beautiful place now in the presence of their Father in heaven and loving brother and Redeemer. A place of peace and love and harmony. Where they don't have to suffer the pains and contention of this world. And i look forward to the time when we will meet again and I know that the pain we feel now will feel as small as the space between one blink of an eye to the next.

Rest in peace forever my dear friend until we meet again. I love you

Jared Alan Johansen